I hope that I get a break from all this sometime soon. I thought I would when Ben came home but he just went right back to work and working out like he hadn't been gone for four days. I know I shouldn't cry. Still, when I cry I feel like I am closest to my most authentic self. For far too long I have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead me to myself. For far too long I have said yes when I have wanted to say no. And for far too long I have said no when I desperately wanted to say yes. Morgen is sick today, probably from going trick or treating with no coat on in 30 degree weather. Ben's Honda needed new tires, so I went and had those put on while he was gone. Then the vacuum broke Tuesday and I went to buy a new one yesterday for $630.00! It is too crazy to pay for all this sometimes. I should probably get a job to help out. I'm going to meet Ben for lunch in awhile before Markus goes to play group. Then I need to pay bills - one of which is twice what it normally is. Oh, swell. The Land Rover check engine light is on again and probably should be fixed again since it just got out of the shop. But maybe we will just drive it until the lease is up in May and turn the lemon in.
B